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It’s ‘I do what I want and I’m done.’ ” What’s more, ghosting can happen easily when you meet someone new—at a bar, online—and are lacking those six-degrees of separation that would normally hold someone accountable for an ungraceful exit.
“If it’s your college roommate’s cousin or you met them from work, he or she probably won’t ghost,” says Sussman.
When a guy we’ve been talking to regularly suddenly pulls a Houdini, it can make us feel as though we've gone a bit insane.
In this Age of The Smartphone, when a message can be sent with barely any effort, it's an especially confusing sign. An ex-boyfriend and I had been dating a year when he decided to just not show any signs of life for an entire week.
She knew deep down that it was going too fast, but it felt good to have someone so smitten with her and so she let herself get swept away, caught in the whirlwind of his plans and promises. And it’s wrong and hurtful.” Adds Gail Saltz, an associate professor of psychiatry at The New York Presbyterian Hospital Weill-Cornel School of Medicine and the author of “Becoming Real: Defeating the Stories We Tell Ourselves That Hold Us Back”: “We’re breeding a dating population where there isn’t an internal taboo over someone just disappearing.After a short time, he disappeared completely without warning— only to reappear six months later with guess what… It definitely wasn’t a love connection, so my best guess about why he texted after months was that he wanted to see if I would even respond at all and… If your breakup was one-sided, say, he knows that you wanted to keep the relationship going but he didn’t, it can simply feel good to call you and remind himself that someone (anyone) cares for him.This reason is usually subconscious and for sure, unflattering to you, but it’s a really common reason for a guy to come back months later. This also happens with family members, acquaintances you haven’t seen for a while, etc.But the truth is, it’s really the fault of the phantom, and there are certain personality types that are more inclined to ghost, such as narcissists and commitment-phobes—particularly ones who like the “reeling in” process. However tempted you may be to reach out and find out what the heck happened or just to give him an earful, if you’ve already called or texted once (OK, twice) without a response—stop.“Why men vanish or disappear is one of the most frequently asked questions from women.